The Squirrel Census of The Milky Way Galaxy is a multimedia science, design, art, and storytelling team focusing on the Eastern gray (Sciurus carolinensis). We count squirrels and present our findings to the public in the form of comprehensive maps, data visualizations, and anthropomorphic storytelling. We also create t-shirts, beanies, patches, songs and records, 1-800 numbers, tongue-in-cheek live presentations and videos, etc.
OUR CURRENT ROSTER
Jamie Allen, Captain
Stewart Haddock, Senior Associate
Josh O’Connor, Field Commander
Nat Slaughter, Chief Cartographer
Sally Parham, Director of Operations
Donal Bisanzio, Squirrel Scientist
Stuart Bowler, Chargés d’Affaires, Northeastern Region
John Murray, Chief Squirrel Correspondent
Kaitlyn Schwalje, Senior Squirrel Critic
Sara Lazor, Chief Enthusiast
Colin Jerolmack, Census Professor
Sophie Allen (canine), Founder
And the squirrels keep working the acorn mines. Up at dawn, lunchbox in paw, no excuses, off to work. All we gotta do, they think, is get through this one day alive. Just this for today: No dying. And make sure little Jimmy doesn’t start smoking the stuff. That’s all we gotta do. Maybe run around. Climb. Take a few dangerous leaps, just to show everybody we can. Maybe flirt a little. Tussle. Run. Run! Then, day over, sun setting in a fiery crash into the Earth beyond the human skyline, nice view from the branch, hawk circling overhead, calling out, “I’m gonna get you tomorrow! Rest up! Because you might have dodged my talons today, Squirrel-Friend, but tomorrow you will bleed your way into my stomach and fill me with warm God-like powers of Time Suspension!” (Hawks get weird when they talk about food.) Anyway, another day done, climb into the nest or cubby-hole in the tree, curl up. Dream of love. Love is what keeps the world alive, because it leads to babies. More squirrel babies. We have to stay alive. If we die, the world dies with us. No hope. We’re saving the planet one day at a time. Dream, Squirrel, dream.